Down and Out and Face Down

A gentleman came into the deli last night. I hesitate to call him a gentleman as he was far from it. Gentle, yes. A man, yes. But combining those two words does not help to describe the sad state this young, Mohawk sporting, tattoo laden, toothless fellow was in. At first glance he appeared to me a transient sort in search of a warm place. He asked to fill out a job application. I was obliged to allow this so he could take fifteen minutes away from the cold and wind. He asked for a pen and sat down at the booth closest to the cash register. Within five minutes he was face-down on the table, pen still in hand. I was unable to stir him even with my best, hey buddy, ya gotta wake up bartender voice. Numerous attempts were made but he was out cold, as it were. Fearing the worst, I checked for signs of life from a distance. He was indeed breathing and an occasional lip twitch reassured me he was not dead. Lacking any alternative, I telephoned the police and asked for assistance in removing him from the deli. The police were quick to arrive. Several attempts were made to rouse him and eventually it worked. They asked the usual question, who are you, do you know where you are, etc. He seemed to know who he was but he was not willing to give up much more information. The police questioned him for at least a half an hour, asking him to remove items like a candle and very clean, white shoes from a satchel he had in his possessions. They questioned him about the candle repeatedly, asking if he stole it from the Christian book store. They even asked if the candle had a scent. One officer went so far as to bend over and smell the candle and remarked, "Ah, yes, it does smell good." He never did return the application or the pen. I also believe he stole two chocolate chip cookies. The police officers put him in the back of their car and drove off into the night under the biggest, whitest, brightest moon I have ever seen. And I continued to clean the sneeze guard with white vinegar as we were out of glass cleaner.